i’ve recently been thinking of how i’d like to take a step back from chaos. i know its something that i’ll never truly get away from, but making my daily life less chaotic sounds wonderful. see, now that i have my two amazing kids, i want to concentrate on them. not to say that i want to neglect my wants or needs in life, but i brought them into this world, therefore, i want to give it to them. that said, i think i need to suspend my schooling for a bit. i commend any parent that can go to school (and work) and be a mom/dad. it is hard work. currently i am enrolled in a class that i was cautioned was quite difficult. being myself, i thought i could handle it. unfortunately, i got in over my head and it resulted in a grade that i am embarrassed of.

after high school i decided to go straight into the working world, instead of college. i did this because i had no idea what i wanted to do. since i realized what i want for my life, i began taking college courses in 2009. i strived for something i hadn’t had… a 4.0 GPA. i achieved my goal, but this recent class has me second-guessing where i am today. a passing grade isn’t okay with me. i want to be a stand-out student. a degree in communications is what i’m working toward, but a less than par grade just won’t cut it. especially when that grade is in a class that is the epitome of my future career. ugh, this is on the verge of heartbreaking.

but priorities have changed. my kids need my full attention.

today i met with ingrid’s therapist and coordinator. she will begin therapy shortly with a developmental therapist. no doubt this will be good for her, and us. the coordinator was impressed with her and her abilities for a 4 month old with ds. apparently, she really has surpassed many obstacles that ds kids are faced with. that’s our girl!!

then we have brixton who just turned two. if i say he’s a friendly tornado, i mean it with all the love in the world. he really is. the boy is a joy to have around, but a handful nonetheless. he had a check-up with his pediatrician a few weeks ago. she was amazed that he, at the time wasn’t quite 2 years old, already knew his ABC’S and could count to 20. this may not be a huge accomplishment for some, but i’m proud of him. he is a very smart and amazing little boy.

see, they need their mama. i don’t want to miss anything of importance in their growing up. this is the time that i feel i need to focus on. and to do so, i wouldn’t be putting 100% into school work. getting great grades in school with the amount of studying that i find necessary, and being the best mama i can be..just won’t jive.

therefore, i chose to pause. making my life more livable to enjoy the things at the forefront of my world right now. oh, i’m excited! this probably seems a bit strange to some because i am a stay-at-home mom. that’s okay. i’m sure my blue hair seems strange as well. i can handle that. being something other than “normal” isn’t new for me. (HA!!) i do feel better about letting this go for a while. focusing on one integral part of my life at a time is key for this point in my life. my family comes first.

did i mention that i’m still obsessing over Europe? yeah, that won’t leave me alone. now brixton tells his daddy that he wants to go to Paris with mama! makes me laugh every time. every night at bedtime brixton and i look at photos of France. all i need is for ingrid to tell him the same thing when she’s ready. (by the way, i’ve began planning our first trip to Paris & Germany. i’m oozing with excitement!!) if anyone out there has any suggestions of places to eat, visit, etc. please let me know!

oops. brixton just woke up from his nap. to avoid any random beating on the keyboard in an attempt to type like mama, i’m signing off for now.

later!!

when i was a little girl i always thought ‘one day i’ll live in france!’ i always felt that paris was the best city on the planet. i still do. unfortunately, i can’t say that i know this from experience since i’ve never been there. recently, i found a page on pinterest that is all about paris. i started to follow it since it embraced the city that i long to be in. over the past week or so, i log on every day and see all the amazing photos of paris’ cafes, flea markets, quaint shops & boutiques, etc. it’s making my drive to be in the city of love more intense every moment.

so, having this unforseen passion for a place that i’ve never seen with my own eyes seems quite odd. you may wonder how could i love something (or place) so much that i’ve never actually encountered myself. i can’t really answer that. and not to get too off subject, but it’s almost like there’s more to me that just me.. like at another time in life (past), i was there. like i enjoyed the passion of a parisian lifestyle, but didn’t get enough of it. maybe that’s why i need to be there now.

at this stage in my life, i’m planning my future around how i can ensure that i get there. that i get the full experience & enjoyment of paris before my opportunity has passed. it will not pass. i can’t let that happen. there isn’t much in this life that i’ve “needed”, but can honestly say that paris is it.
i’m working on my college degree of becoming a writer. i want to do this for so many reasons, but most of all so that i can work from wherever i call home. france has to be it. i no longer want to live vicariously through other peoples’ photos.

i know there are is little chance that my family & i will ever live in paris itself..unless i win the lottery soon, but anywhere near my lovely destination is fine by me. i want to wake up every morning knowing that i get to live out my fantasy. my kids will get to look out the windows & see a world they didn’t know existed, but can tell their friends about back in the US. and to be close enough to travel just about anywhere in europe…wow. now, that would be a dream come true.

i’ve been reading books and looking at photos for years. i read the same books over & over, wondering if i can learn something new this time around. all this reading has made me realize its time to see it first-hand. i need to take myself and my family to paris.

its time.

a few years ago, i went to new orleans with a friend. it was my first time in the city, not her’s, so she planned everything. before i go any farther…i love to try new things. and i love spooky stuff. but i got WAY more than i bargained for. see, my dear friend can handle spooky much better than i can. she booked our stay at a gorgeous hotel that is known to be haunted. it was so old and so pretty. i was more than happy to stay the week there. until i found out it was haunted. yep, i was nervous from then on. playing it off as if it didn’t make my mind spin, i went along with it. we were in the city for a short time & decided to go back to our rooms to freshen up before we went out for the night. this is where my concern turns to petrified. the hotel was so old that we had no windows to the outside. the dead bolt lock on the door did not open from the hallway..just inside the room. so, when my dead bolt was unlocked and the door still wouldn’t open, i almost had to change my pants. freaked out would be an understatement. my friend was in the hall waiting & i was held up in my room. not cool!!!

this was my first encounter with anything other than a scary movie or halloween haunted house. all cheesy in my opinion. but being my only comparison, i figured how bad can it be?! i answered my own question before too long.

the trip continued as a great vacation. shopping, eating, exploring the city and its cemeteries, etc. i really enjoyed it.

after a few days of being there we went for a short road trip to the myrtle plantation. if i thought i was scared at the hotel, i had no idea what i was getting into with this place. it was once a family home, now turned into a haunted bed & breakfast. there is no way in this world i would spend a night here. gorgeous, yes. and very well maintained. it has great history. but too many dead people still visit. i will never be an over-night guest. i would recommend reading about it and visiting. during the daytime!!

i took hundreds of photos during the trip to the new orleans and the myrtle plantation. there were some that i looked at right away and others that i waited to see. when i got home from the trip, i proudly showed off my photos of our fun adventures & new sights. as my father was looking at the photos, i was explaining the story of the myrtle plantation & he said he saw an image of a man standing on the staircase in the entry of the home. he was correct!! there it was. gave me chills to think i was standing in the room when i took the photo & didn’t notice a thing at the time. there was another photo where an outline of a child can be seen. call me crazy. i’m not a person who believed in ghosts, until then!

aside from the spooky aspects of the trip…the vampire tour, the ghost tour, and haunted hotel, there was some amazing food that i got to experience.
if you haven’t been to new orleans, you have to try their local cuisine. definitely go to juan’s flying burrito. i believe we ate at juan’s about 4-5 times during our week’s stay. delicious!! also, try the gumbo shop. super tasty gumbo in a quaint restaurant. it’s worth the trip.

i’m attaching some photos of the trip. i hope to go back someday. this time i will be staying at a hotel a little less haunted. sleeping with ghosts, not my idea of a good nights sleep!!