I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m on a mission. I’m going to build an empire of strength, confidence, empowerment and success no matter what it takes. Okay, that may not be true.. I do have to have some boundaries, right?! You get my point. I’ve been reading some amazing books that really gave me something to think about. For example, the way you speak to and about yourself and the impact it unknowingly has. I don’t know about you, but now that I’m aware of such repercussions I catch myself saying some very damaging stuff about myself all the time. Its terrible. Now, it’s not that I say anything in a demeaning manner, at least that was never my intent, but I tend to say things that are not in a positive light.
Do you do this? Have you ever said something like “Oh, I’m so stupid” for one reason or another? Most likely it’s in a joking manner, yet still! Growing up in a middle class, Christian family, I was raised with an amazing work ethic, morals, values and strong sense of family. I always know that my family will be there no matter the situation, cheering me on, offering advise, etc. I also know that the way we spoke of ourselves to others has stuck with me to this day. I can’t count the number of times we said things such as “We can’t afford that..” or “Wait until payday..”. If you grew up like I did, you’ve likely heard or said similar things. Don’t get me wrong.. it’s not to talk down on the circumstances or life that we lived. We had all that we needed, plus some relatively fun comforts, yet speaking of yourself in this regard lends one to believe it.
Ultimately, it’s a fear of becoming what you say you aren’t. What you speak to yourself, you believe. If you know that you are worthy of creating the life of your dreams, envisioning something to the point of making it a reality, this becomes your reality. If you believe that you can make as much money as your heart and hard work will allow, then you’re more likely to succeed in doing so. There is this amazing technique that I’m fairly fresh to.. manifesting. I have a lot of work to do in order to make this truly work for me, but its like anything else. If I put my mind to it, actually trying to make sense of it and use it to my benefit, why wouldn’t it work?! If I believe in myself to the point of no return, regardless of what the outside world says or thinks, I’m setting myself up for success.
It may come across as superficial to some, but don’t knock it until you try it. If you honestly thought you could be anything you set your mind to, and actually did it.. then you’ve manifested your dreams into reality. I know I’m a writer. Granted, some may think I need help, practice, whatever it may be, but if I did nothing to make my dreams come true who wins? Not me. As I said yesterday, failure is not an option. So, if that’s the case, why wouldn’t I manifest everything I’ve dreamed of?! Why would I let those barriers of doubt hold me down? I know I’m worthy! I know the road is long, the work is hard, yet the payoff is astronomical!
Let’s put it into perspective. You are a stay-at-home mom. You have kids who need you at every waking minute, a home to take care of, a partner to tend to.. all while trying to keep your identity in-check. You had a life once. You knew who you wanted to be when you grew up. You made it this far on dreams, goals and a ton of hope. So, why are you still putting yourself on the back burner? Why are your dreams less important than anyone else’s in your life? The answer isn’t as simple as we’d like it to be. Everyone has a different reason. Some of us simply allowed motherhood to override every other aspect of who we once were. We allowed our family’s needs to supersede anything for ourselves.
My point is this: we define our worth by the choices we make. If you decide that you should take a backseat to every other person or aspect in life, then that’s where you’ll stay. When you decide that you are worth more than you feel at the bottom of the well, then you’ll stand tall once again and begin to pave your path. This was me.
Several years ago, I knew I had it made. At that point, I had my own money, freedom, time and identity. I was working in a job that I didn’t love, but it paid a decent wage. I was living in a new city and happy. Fast forward to twenty seventeen. After living in a cloud of self-doubt, low self-worth, exhaustion and having allowed my happiness to dwindle, I realized that I lost all identity I once had. I did this. I let this happen. Every single dream that I had wasn’t just pushed aside, it was burned, stepped on, thrown away. I thought I was doing the right thing for my family. Being there for them at every call. Being who they needed me to be. All while losing every ounce of being. When I finally woke up and decided to become who I know I’m meant to be.. I also knew that not everyone would be on-board with this new me. When you hear that not everyone is cheering you on, that is not an understatement. What you have to decide is if those boo’s are going to stop you or push your closer to your goals. It’s a hard reality. Knowing that some people are happier holding you down that watching you blossom to the best version of yourself. But, let me tell you.. if they aren’t cheering you on, they don’t deserve a place in your life. Your people, the ones who want you to be who you are, happy, breathing freshness through and through, those are your people.
I’ve burned bridges. I’ve lost people. But nothing hurt more than losing myself. Your worth isn’t defined by another person. It’s who you believe you are. The choices you make. The lifestyle you choose to live. You can set yourself up for failure until your last breath, but when you go to bed at night are you pleased with yourself? This is what I’m talking about. Are you deeply, sincerely happy with who you are and where you’re going? If the answer is no, then its time to do some soul searching to define who you are and where your potential lies.
Live life for you. You can’t please anyone until you’re happy with you!