I believe it to be something pulling my heart-strings. Places that call my name in ways I could never replicate. Sights that my eyes have captured in mere dreams. Now I taste the severity of my longing.
It isn’t that I wish for a different life; different circumstances. The life I live is utterly beautiful, with those who are meant as my soul mates. Traveling companions, adventurers, breathing life into my desires. Never had I imagined that I would be driving this journey alone. Yet alone is what I’m meant to be. With a yearning mind, I let go of the past and move forward. I have spent years living the dream of those that are not mine. I have followed the pathway you paved for yourself. Your future had become mine, even when I didn’t realize it. I let go of my dreams to make you smile.
But my smile has longed for its rightful place. No longer does it see the sunshine in which I once gleamed. That lustre has faded into your shadow. My desires have become that of your mind. Each day that passes I feel a deepening break of my soul. My mind frightens me. I think of the days spent following your lead, wondering when I’ll be brave enough to step aside to grasp my own fate. The words escape me as I try to embrace the reality of my thoughts. I leap from my faded stance to gather my grip. Without hesitation, I run. I can’t look back. The past is haunting every breath that I take. Your words have charred every sense of what I thought I could bear. Every moment that I stay, I lose a piece of myself. For eternity I have belonged to you. In that eternity, I have lost all who I am; all that I have thought I’d be. Allowing you freedom to toss me into the sky to evaporate into a mist of who I once was, with what little is left I must go.
I see your face in the dark. I close my eyes for reassurance, yet I know that you could not love who I am meant to be. An old soul, dark and alone. My eyes burn as tears are shed for your loss. I have left no trace to be found. Our last words try to pry into my mind as I write your character in lead. Parchment surrounds me now. A time before, I would have waited for approval that I thought I needed to be feel elated. Disparity has no place in me now. For once, I have followed my own dreams and desires. I am gone now and forever.
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