Journeys written in time.

I believe it to be something pulling my heart-strings.  Places that call my name in ways I could never replicate.  Sights that my eyes have captured in mere dreams.  Now I taste the severity of my longing.

It isn’t that I wish for a different life; different circumstances.  The life I live is utterly beautiful, with those who are meant as my soul mates.  Traveling companions, adventurers, breathing life into my desires.  Never had I imagined that I would be driving this journey alone.  Yet alone is what I’m meant to be.  With a yearning mind, I let go of the past and move forward.  I have spent years living the dream of those that are not mine.  I have followed the pathway you paved for yourself.  Your future had become mine, even when I didn’t realize it.  I let go of my dreams to make you smile.

But my smile has longed for its rightful place.  No longer does it see the sunshine in which I once gleamed.  That lustre has faded into your shadow.  My desires have become that of your mind.  Each day that passes I feel a deepening break of my soul.  My mind frightens me.  I think of the days spent following your lead, wondering when I’ll be brave enough to step aside to grasp my own fate.  The words escape me as I try to embrace the reality of my thoughts.  I leap from my faded stance to gather my grip.  Without hesitation, I run.  I can’t look back.  The past is haunting every breath that I take.  Your words have charred every sense of what I thought I could bear.  Every moment that I stay, I lose a piece of myself.  For eternity I have belonged to you.  In that eternity, I have lost all who I am; all that I have thought I’d be.  Allowing you freedom to toss me into the sky to evaporate into a mist of who I once was, with what little is left I must go.

I see your face in the dark.  I close my eyes for reassurance, yet I know that you could not love who I am meant to be.  An old soul, dark and alone.  My eyes burn as tears are shed for your loss.  I have left no trace to be found.  Our last words try to pry into my mind as I write your character in lead.  Parchment surrounds me now.   A time before, I would have waited for approval that I thought I needed to be feel elated.   Disparity has no place in me now.  For once, I have followed my own dreams and desires.  I am gone now and forever.