The Mama Chronicles: fear.

There are many fears that tag along when becoming a mom.  Add to that, being the mom of a special needs child.  When you list all of the possible things that could go wrong or happen to your perfect mini-me, one can understand that by their age of 18, you have either become certifiably insane or an alcoholic.  I venture to say that I’ll freely accept the first.

Upon moving into our new house, I envisioned that someday we would have an “issue” with our little escape artist, Ingrid.  I purchased all of the appropriate safety locks for our doors (or so I thought!) and began rising earlier (much earlier than I like) to be ready for the day.  Played out in my mind I had taken enough safety measures to ensure that all was good in our world of keeping the kids safe when I wasn’t hovering over them.  It didn’t take long for Ingrid to scare the life right out of me.

This morning, I wake early, just as every other day.  I hop into the shower without a care in the world.  Within minutes I hear her yelling “Daddy!”.  Naturally, I yell back ” I’m here.. just lay down.  I’ll be right out.”. She busts through the door!  Okay, so that’s the first heartache for the morning.  After a few seconds of begging her to lay down in my bed until I’m done, she slams the door and off she went.  Uh oh!  A minute later, my six-year-old comes in the bathroom saying that Ingrid woke him up.  Here we go.  I ask him to go find her and get back in bed.  He responds with “I can’t find her anywhere”!  What?!        

As you can imagine, I took the fastest shower of my life.  I’m pretty sure I got clean, buy I was a bit more concerned with the whereabouts of my kid.  Seconds later I’m rushing through the house yelling her name.  I found her in the garage, sobbing.  My first reaction was to yell at her for taking off, yet I realized that didn’t work because now she’s crying harder.  I grab her, console her and carry her back into the house.  Whew!!  My little girl almost made my heart stop this morning.  Every scary thought ran through my mind within the smallest amount of time.

Many people wonder what it’s like to be the parent of a special needs child.  Every parent has a different experience and many that I can’t relate to, but one thing is certain.. typical or otherwise, kids know how to scare the poo out of you!  Lesson learned..  I’ve got to get this house secured!  I know it’ll happen, yet I never want to feel that desperation again.

Stay strong parents!  We’re all they have and they count on us.