Breaking out.

Let me be the first to say..  when breaking into the unknown, it’s not only scary, but insanely, well, dismal!  I mean, really.  How is someone who’s, let’s say, old enough to know what she wants to be when she grows up, but still has no idea how to get there, supposed to get there?!  You would think that if Google was as smart as it claims, that it would be as easy as one click and your future plan is written!  But no.  And that’s how you get to be nearing forty years old and still can’t answer your kindergarten teacher’s question: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

A writer.  With a pen and paper in hand or laptop on my desk, theoretically, I want to write, write, write.. and make a living!  It’s not that simple though.  As I have spent so much time researching the best options for myself and the best way to achieve my goals, I now have a clear understanding that nothing is as simple as just a dream.  Living out that dream is taking every ounce of blood, sweat and tears that I can muster up.  I don’t expect the easy road to be paved for me.  With complete acceptance, I am willing to do what it takes to reach the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow, yet it would be much appreciated if  someone could give me a nudge in the right direction.

Over the years I have considered enrolling into university again to gain more knowledge of my desired field.  That black cloud of potential student loan debt glares back at me, making it difficult to commit.  I have yet to push the ‘submit’ button.  Another option would be to take certificate courses.  I long to reignite my brain into studies that will enhance my already literary thirsty mind.  Yet this world of power, driven by money, has this student dizzy.  I have such a drive to succeed and not one clear path of how to get there.  Where do I go from here?  I am going to write.  My entire life has been better explained on paper than ever by a word, so, I will write about it.  Now, I’m sure writing an autobiography is not in my future, but that caught your attention!  (excuse me while I chuckle at myself!)

The only clear road I can see is to learn and continue to grow.  There is nothing to lose in expanding one’s knowledge.  If there’s a passion to be better, then we must strive to do it, right?

Someday is all I can bank on.  For now, I will continue to work and enjoy what I love most about this life..  writing.