The Mama Chronicles: Summer break

Ahh, summer break.  The kids are home from school, the sun is shining, and the weather is hot.  When you think of it this way, you quickly imagine a scene from a movie with kids running through a field, laughing, playing and getting along.  Yet in reality, at least in mine, the kids are arguing, lying around, and complaining.  When, oh when, will the school year kick up again?!

Given that this is the first time we’re able to experience summer break because Brixton is now in preschool, this marks the first of many,many summer fun times.  It’s imperative that I explain how days like today move forward.  First of all, I needed to make a trip to the grocery store.  That in itself should be quite painless.  Not with my kids.  Before we make it past the entrance of the store, I find us in the entrance arguing over which grocery cart to choose.  I know you’re probably thinking.. ‘why argue over something so trivial?’, but let me add this..  our local grocery store has tiny carts for kids.  Although it is super cute, it is also very frustrating when those tiny carts lead to massive arguments in the entrance to the store.  Who does that, you ask?  We do.  My son has a strong personality.  I can appreciate that on a number of days, but today was not it.  Once the cart issue had been resolved, we enter.  Phew!  I was starting to wonder if we’d make it this far!  On to Starbucks we go.  (THANK YOU Kroger for adding this perfect gem to the front of your already awesome store!!)  We’re in and moving.  I order my cup of delicious motivation and.. here we go again.  “Can I have a cake pop?”  My answer is no.  Well, that didn’t go well.  So, I add this.. “you are not having a cake pop for breakfast.”  Wait, what?!  Oh, no..  I was in such a rush to leave the house as quickly as possible, I forgot to feed them.  Great, parent of the year!!  Okay, “may I please add a cake pop and a croissant?”  Done.  Let’s keep going.  Oh, you’d like to tell me how I’m moving down the aisle the wrong way?  That’s fantastic!!  Back up.  We’re going to produce.  Away we go and onto the next item to not agree on.  Ingrid is watching a movie on the tablet (I know, I know, but she’s happy AND not screaming).  Once Brixton notices, he must also sit in my cart.  No, no, sir!!  You had to have the tiny cart!  Let the meltdown commence.  (Picture this..  at the front of the store is Starbucks and produce.  You see how far we’ve made it in about 30 minutes!)  Fine, I cave.  I go on to tell him that if he wants in my cart to watch the movie, he has to go back through the entrance to return his tiny cart to it’s rightful place.  And.. he takes off.  Not watching where he’s going, blowing past elderly people, who are looking at me as if I have no control over my child (I DON’T!), and out the door he goes.  Okay, bad idea on my part because now I have no idea where he went.  I follow.  The second I pass through the store’s alarm point, it sounds.  WONDERFUL!!  So, I see my kid and I see the employee coming toward me.  Please don’t kick me out.  I’m not stealing.. just trying to regain my title of “Parent of the Year”.  No worries.. I totally lost it.  I kindly ask the gentleman to put my son’s cart in its correct spot because he didn’t do it himself.  Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with a mother and two crazy kids today.  The expression on his face was of pure disgust.  But he did it and we moved on before we really were asked to not return.

Our grocery excursion continues.  It definitely isn’t going smoothly, but at least I know where the kids are and I’m getting the items we need to replenish our kitchen.  Somehow, I remember that their favorite snacks are at Target and possibly less expensive than at the grocery store.  We need to go to Target as well.  In my head, I’m praying that the next stop will be much more tolerable.  Of course it isn’t.. Target sells toys!  Meltdown, meltdown, meltdown.. and mom threatens.  For your display of crazy, we will not look at toys today.  It wasn’t just one kid, it was both.  Screaming, throwing flip flops (Ingrid!), crying, arguing over the tablet, running away, and pushing the cart away from me with one kid inside.. we are bound to be thrown out of at least one establishment today.  I’m trying desperately to keep my cool and not make my own scene, but I’m about to lose it.  Thankfully, in our state, you can purchase alcohol in Target!  Kids, let’s go.. the wine aisle is over here!!  We get what we need and I snag a few items for myself before jetting out the door.  Now, you’d think that once outside all crazy would subside.  No.  Ingrid is screaming because she wants out of the cart and Brixton is bolting through the parking lot in an effort to race me to the car.  OH MY GOSH.  I’m off!  Yelling through the parking lot, reminding him of his wrongdoing, and making a fool of myself.

Finally, we are safely in the car and heading home.  Is it too early to crack open that bottle of wine??  It’s 11am here, but later in Paris (where I wish I was!).  I can not believe that in such a short time, I’ve already lost my mind more than once.  It’s so early in the day!  My vision for summer isn’t turning out the way I had imagined.  We’ve had a wonderful time for the most part, but days like today make me appreciate the little things… like shopping alone!!


Have a great summer friends!!  (and don’t lose your sanity before August!!)