meltdowns & memories.

As many of you know, we live on the west coast. Most of my family and friends are on the east coast. Which, at the holidays, makes things interesting. We do a lot of mailing packages, Skype, and multiple holiday dinners.
This time it was christmas in mid-january. I must say..I’ve never had my Christmas tree up for two months..until now. My parents came to visit and we did our second Christmas this week. Because we only see them a couple of times a year, we packed my dad’s birthday into Christmas.

Our memories were made with a house of 6 adults, 6 kids (including a toddler & an infant), and two large dogs. Christmas was great! Spending time with family was fun. Having a casual Christmas dinner and birthday cake was a good time too. Until our dog, max, took a bite of the cake. This was quite a funny moment for most, given the cake icing was royal blue, but my husband wasn’t nearly as amused.
Then our lovely son, who’s suffering from the terrible twos, made for an even more interesting time. Let’s just say he doesn’t understand that hitting a playmate is NOT fun for the other person. Or having toys thrown at them. Yep, this brought out a few kid arguments/tattle telling.

We love having family in town for a visit. Honestly, it helps alleviate some of the unexpected stress we’ve been slapped with this month.

Let’s talk about this month.. the first month of 2014; the same year that I spoke highly of just a few weeks ago. I’m not overly fond of it so far, yet I’m trying hard to stay positive. My husband, the poor guy, is having a horrible time these past few weeks.
The thought of losing his job & moving MUCH earlier than we have EVER planned is taking its toll.

But, seriously, I am really trying to remain optimistic. We seem to have been hit with a bunch of life (changing) decisions all at once, yet I know the Big Guy upstairs has a plan for us. We spent much of last year stressed. We can’t & won’t do that this year. Telling my husband that everything will be okay, that we’ll get through it together, or even to not stress about everything seems unfair. I mean, really, I’m the lucky one who is home with the kiddos imagining (or fantasizing) about how exciting it’s going to be to jump-start our new adventure in a new place. Yet I’m not the one worrying about providing for our family, among the other yucky stuff happening. Ugh. How selfish I feel right now. Unfortunately, too often it takes saying something aloud, or in my case, blogging it(!), to realize how others hear it. Ouch!
I’ve been pushing for my own personal wants for a while now. My husband claims to agree, yet I’m probably adding a great deal of stress to his already full load. I suppose I should back off.
Oh, dear…how do I do that?! There are countless things to be done to prepare for our upcoming months, all while overloaded with uncertainty. WHERE IS THE BOTTLE OF WINE!?

I’m going to change the subject for now. More so to ensure that I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
So, remember in my last post about my willingness to change how I am? I’ve began doing so and it feels great. I’m putting my judgements away and I think those around me are happier. Now, I know I can be a jerk. And I can’t promise that will change, but I can promise to be nicer about it. (Ha! That sounds so contradictory!)

Well, it’s taken me several days to complete this post so I hope my wondering mind didn’t ruin it.

Nite everyone.